#24a - choose 4 religions, practice their traditions for a week each - Buddhism

I was really looking forward to this one.  So much of our culture and history are based on religion, I figured it was worth looking at a bit closer.  My hypothesis is this: despite seemingly vast differences, religions often have similar core values – be nice to others, be nice to yourself, be nice to the planet, and help out whenever you can.  I suspect it’s just the assholes that manipulate various writings, the bible, the qur’an etc to their advantage that makes everything fall apart and gives religion a bad rap.

In choosing my religions, I set out a bit of criteria. Do my homework, and find a guide who is practicing, and can give me some ground rules to live by for the week.

So this past week, I explored Buddhism, and learned one thing.  I am a very, very bad Buddhist.  

Really, I did try. My guide is a charming friend who is all very peace, love and zen. He meditates regularly, gets tangled up when he’s not centred, loves his yoga mat and is quick to say gentle, kind, hippie infused words. I knew immediately we’d be friends – the fact that he’s a crazy, cute Aussie has nothing to do with it, I swear. He said I’d be a great Buddhist. I’m generally a nice person, I’m usually fairly calm about stuff (he doesn’t know me so well) and I have a pretty good perspective on life.

Buddhists have 5 little rules to live by. Don’t kill anything.  Don’t steal.  Don’t lie and say mean things. No drugs and alcohol, and no kinky sex.  It would be an enormous challenge, and terribly boring, but I figured for a week I could at least try.  

Not killing anything was easy, since I was being a vegetarian anyway.  I haven’t stolen anything for weeks. (the last thing was a Christmas ornament off a tree in a Catholic school because I was ticked off at them, and the ornament was my fave shade of green. And sparkly. Couldn’t help it.)

Not lying and saying mean things… well I generally avoid lying. Sometimes I just skip over all the details.  Saying mean things, I had to restart that challenge a number of times. In an attempt to not swear, I discovered there are moments that I swear like I’ve been trained by a sailor.   A few things ticked me off during the week left me ranting in a very non-zen way.

No drugs or alcohol. Well… I tried.  I’m not so good about avoiding indulgence.

No kinky sex.   (My mother reads this. I reserve the right to remain silent)

I did a few other things to gain some buddha points. I went with my zen guide to a meditation/dharma talk one night.  It was very interesting. I learned that I cannot possibly sit still for any length of time.  I also learned that it’s easy to tell strangers personal things – in the ‘group work’ portion of the evening, I learned some (and shared some) most scandalous details with a complete stranger.  I also learned that when everyone else in the room has their eyes closed, you can look around and realize that you, the senior level civil servant, are so not as granola as you once thought you were. 

I also wore my mala beads around. 108 beads on a string, meant for meditation aiding in the repetition of mantras to guide and centre you.  They looked great with my cozy purple sweater.  Complete failure to use them for any functional purpose.

So, I’ve come to realize that while I may attempt everything on my 37 list, I may not succeed with any great style and grace. I tried. I read a bunch of stuff on Buddhism and the Dalai Lama.  I actually held my tongue when I felt something non-zen trying to escape.  I didn’t kill anything.  I challenged myself to let go of things that held me back, and embrace those that lead me to being a better person.

However I did sleep through my Sunday field trip to a Buddhist Temple.  Though, getting out of bed early on a Sunday is so not Zen. I think next I will try to be a Pagan.